Self-reflections...

I just found a job offer in the newspapers yesterday. Said that a bookstore at the airport needs a retail assistant. I asked my cousin if she wanted to come along and interview for the job with me and surprisingly, she agreed. Thought she would rather slack at home, haha! But of course she's not that lazy, I know...

Anyway, today's quite a fine Sunday for me. It's a breezy afternoon now; sometimes it's kind of tempting for me to go out. But then I ask myself, "Go out and do what?" Exercize? I would like to cycle, but the thing is my bicycle's tyre has got a hole in it. We haven't planned to fix it as there isn't a bicycle shop nearby. I don't want to go to the library again as I just went there yesterday evening and I've already borrowed a book to read. If I go there again I'll be tempted to borrow even more books and my pile of books will just keep increasing. What else is there left to do? To tell you the truth, I can actually do many things but it always seems as though something is the way. Either I don't have the resources or I have some bad thoughts that are discouraging me to do the things I want to do. So what's the solution, huh? Think of ways to overcome all those difficulties? How I wish it was that simple. Almost every solution is usually easier said than done. But I do believe that if I really want to do something, I'll go all out to do it. But the question is, what do I want to do?

Don't mind me if I seem to be talking in circles. Sometimes writing (or typing) helps me clarify my mind. If I can't think it out loud, I might as well pour it down. What are my desires? What do I want to achieve? Those questions are really difficult to answer sometimes. But each one of us has a burning desire for at least something in life. You just have to find that flame in you. What do you want most of all? What do you see in your future? I guess I already know what I want in life, but as I said, something's preventing me from achieving it. Maybe it's still too early for my age to have those things. So what do I work on now? Things I can control? Alright. Like what? Do I even have anything I can control? Come to think of it, I don't even know what I can control. I guess my resources are fine. But there are obstacles in my way. They sure seem like mountains, really. At my age I don't think I exert any control over them. Only people like my parents have control over them. But they don't seem to be helping me. So I'm back to square 1. I'm all alone - in a certain sense, of course - and stuck in a rut. I need a miracle...