Long time no type, huh? Well, yeah, it's always the same feeling of not knowing what to type sometimes. And then you have the mood swings, too. "Nah, I don't feel like typing anything..." But at least I made the effort to type today! So here's an update on my life so far...
It's about a week to the term tests. (What an introduction.) The past 6 weeks of my second semester were... urgh. It's pretty hard to describe them but as you know, I've had my ups and downs. There's one thing for sure, though. I'm not satisfied. I'm in no way fulfilled. You know why? I'm not studying what I've always wanted to study, that's the main reason. It's not that I'm doing nothing about it, it's because I can't do anything about it - at least for now. From what I've read, I've got to wait until the end of the semester, before I can do something - and the chances are slim, mind you. I'm being very vague here, if you don't mind. What happens if that something doesn't work out, ho ho, I guess I'm left with 2 options: Stop my present course and serve my NS first, or continue with this gruelling course for another 2 years. If you were me, what would you do? I'm starting to lean towards the first option, to tell you the truth...
It's a new month. And being in this present situation I can't wait for new starts. Especially the new year coming. December brings with it the Christmas season and the new year. Good thing I only have 2 more weeks of school before the holidays begin. Call me idealistic but I'm waiting for some kind of drastic change when the new year begins. A change in the energies of the universe, so to speak. A shift in direction for the winds of change. Oh, you don't know what I've been through this year. I've learnt many new insights, new ideas, new perceptions. It's refreshing on one hand, but it makes me feel more alone because not many share the same view as I see it. But I believe this will change soon enough. Nothing stays the same, of course. Nothing is static in the world. Our happiness and sorrow will not last forever, too. That's why we must cherish what we have and experience. If we don't, our lives will be meaningless. We will live lives that are hollow, floating around like meaningless entities. A body without a soul. We see things for what they are, never realising how much more they mean. Everything happens for a reason. There is no such thing as coincidence. Every person or experience we meet or face has a reason behind it; we just have to search for it. Call it fate, call it destiny, but I believe if you truly look within, you will find the answer. Let it be, let it be. Let time unfold itself. Let things come and go. But never drift along. Always stay in tuned to your surroundings. Experience your experiences fully. If you do that, you will have meaning. You will understand why you experienced what you experienced. Live the life you've always dreamed of. Do what you love to do. Because you never know when death might strike. Would you want to die happily and fulfillingly, or sad and unsatisfied? Love, love with all your heart. Even if it pains you. Because if we don't love, we might as well not live. Never be afraid to love and never be afraid to love again. Accept your past and begin anew. As Euripides has said, "Our lives... are but a little while, so let them run as sweetly as you can. And give no thought to grief from day to day, for time is not concerned to keep our hopes, but hurries on it's business, and is gone."
We must live to love, and love to live...
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